The Difficult Decisions While Fighting Cancer Just May Be the Most Important

There I was, alongside my family in the oncologist’s office...

Scans showed cancerous nodules had resurfaced in both lungs for the 2nd time — my fourth recurrence of osteosarcoma since being diagnosed in 2016. I was then told the 5 year survival rate was less than 10%, and that without treatment I would die.

My oncologist offered a clinical trial, but it came with extremely painful side effects and a success rate of only around 30%.

I asked for time to think, did some research and ultimately decided that I just didn’t feel this would be the thing that saved my life.

Despite my concerns, however, this was literally the only option on the table. All other hospitals pointed towards my current medical team as best in class and relayed similar opinions.

Literally operating on blind faith, I trusted my gut and maintained belief that success was still possible. I began studying regimens and strategies outside the realms of conventional medicine. The more I learned, the more these holistic approaches appealed to me.

I remember at one point discussing my feelings with my family. I half expected them to tell me I was nuts for not going with the clinical trial and even considering setting out on my own healing journey.

Instead, they looked me in the eyes and told me they believed in me, and if this was the direction that my heart said was right, they were fully on board.

On one hand this was incredibly relieving to know they understood and supported where I was coming from. But I also felt a ton of pressure! There was no expert showing me the way… I was literally swimming in the dark and hoping to land a miracle. Even as I type this today, I’m shaking as I recall how terrifying that situation was to live with every day. The sheer magnitude of pressure. And yet there was something exhilarating about following my instincts and betting on myself.

Each day, I kept researching and experimenting with different techniques. I met a wide variety of medical experts and picked their brains, learning all the angles. Then, rather than follow any single person’s advice, I digested all the information and formed my own path. This served as an incredible lesson for me on the value of being my own advocate.

This past November, I surpassed the survival rate’s five year mark. I’ve officially defied the statistics - and I now have the luxury of inspiring and helping other cancer fighters.

Sometimes the most difficult decisions are difficult because the right answer is the hard way, the terrifying way— the way, where if you actually stopped and thought about going down that path, you might get really freaked out and overwhelmed.

But take comfort in knowing that you don’t have to see the whole staircase from the start. Just take one step at a time, acting on faith and making mindful adjustments based on what life gives you, and the rest of the path will reveal itself.

If my story teaches nothing else, it’s that the most difficult decisions just may be the most important decision of your life. So whatever you do, make sure to follow your heart.