Part 3: How Tarantino, Brad Pitt & Rick Rubin Helped Me Fight Cancer
In the latest post, I shared my approach for dealing with the anxiety of upcoming scans. It’s been helpful but not optimal. You’re basically keeping your head above water to prevent drowning, a survival technique that’s very draining over time.
And then something changed…
I was watching Tarantino’s latest, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, when it hit me. There’s a scene where Brad Pitt’s character is being taken to the hospital after an injury. A friend offers to go with him but Pitt shakes it off with that effortless cool only he can deliver, telling his buddy not to waste the night. Something to the effect of “I’ll be fine. It’s not my time. Come by in the morning… Bring bagels.”
A man essentially willing his way towards recovery. Yes, it was fiction. A movie. But when fear has been whaling on you relentlessly and you’re up against the ropes, you draw inspiration where you can. For the past week, every negative lyric or quote seemed like it was directed at my fate. I was sick of feeling attacked. This scene simply gave my brain a better option to emulate; a mindset that reminded me to LIVE instead of wasting my days numbing discomfort. It’s strictly a “feel” thing but it was exactly what I needed in that moment.
A few nights later, I checked out Shangri-La, the showtime documentary on legendary music producer, Rick Rubin. If Brad Pitt’s performance helped me rekindle my spirit’s fire, Rick’s presence provided a much needed boost of serenity and creative inspiration. In the first part of the series, he discusses how stress and negativity squeeze the tube from which ideas flow. That’s exactly what had happened to me and I needed a reawakening.
Rick is a creative genius. Basically a zen master - shoes off, long beard, uninhibited… Completely in touch with nature and spirituality. By the end of the first episode, I already felt a million times more at peace. It reminded me the world can be friendly. Beautiful, at the very least.
I’m sure I’ll still get rocked from incoming waves of anxiety. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. But when I needed it most, Tarantino, Pitt and Rick Rubin helped me find the light again.
Last week, I wanted to dig deep and express the terror of what this life is like because I didn’t want to live in denial. Then, it seemed important to document a plan to get through it. The message I’m hoping to share here is to take it a step further. Not settle. Keep sourcing, looking for magic. Sometimes you stumble upon it. Sometimes it takes a while… But tapping into it is WAY better than just surviving! We all deserve better.
Now I hope the trust in my body and process pays off, and I’ll prepare to approach whatever comes my way like I always have… One day at a time.
(Update as of August: scans showed no sign of disease 🙏🙏)
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